Hindu Weddings - What happens at a Hindu Wedding?
Want to curry favour at a month-long nuptials shindig?
A Hindu Wedding will typically last the best part of a week so, if you are
marrying into a Hindu family and you (or they) want the traditional ceremony,
make sure you set aside around a month for the wedding, subsequent parties and
then the honeymoon. Your Hindu Wedding will be an event you will remember for
the rest of your life - even if you are not even the bride or the groom.
The first thing that it is worth pointing
out is that, while it may seem like a chaotic and romantic jamboree, it is
actually very organised and purposeful. The function of the many ancillary
ceremonies is to make sure that the seven marriage vows are fully and properly
solemnized and this must be done in accordance with the traditions although
these vary slightly depending upon which particular Hindu sects are involved.
The sequence of events in a Hindu Wedding are broadly as follows:
Engagement
Rings are exchanged between the bride and the groom and a fixed date is
agreed for the wedding.
Mamara
The maternal uncle of the bride or groom and their wife and family are the
star guests at a reception held by their opposite numbers.
Sangeet Sangyha
This is a musical evening organised by the bride's family and takes place a
couple of days before the wedding ceremony.
Baasi-Jawari
On the actual wedding day, the bride's sisters (or other female relatives)
'kidnap' the grooms shoes and demand money for their return.
Tilak
Red turmeric is painted on the forehead of the groom by the male members of
the bride's family as a sign of good fortune.
Sagai
The bride and groom's families exchange gifts.
Mehendi Langwana
Henna is applied to the hands and feet of the bride. Sometimes an artist is
appointed to do the artwork. An empty round spot is left in the right palm.
Sangeet
Normally a women-only affair although some senior and close members of the
bride's family may be present. The ladies sing, dance and tell funny anecdotes
until late.
Barat Nikasi
The groom rides to the wedding venue on a decorated horse or elephant. He
wears a very colourful outfit and carries a ceremonial sword which he uses to
knock on the door of the venue before entering.
Aarti
The groom's family and friends are welcomed by the bride's mother and she
decorates his forehead with a tilak.
Var Mala and Jai Mala
This takes place as part of the wedding ceremony. The bride and groom are
assembled on a raised platform and exchange floral garlands (Var Mala and Jai
Mala) to indicate their formal acceptance of one another as marital partners.
Kanya Daan
These words mean 'giving away of the virgin girl' in Sanskrit
and in a Hindu wedding, this event requires the bride's father to pour some
sacred water for the groom to indicate his 'donation' of his daughter to the
groom. In return some promises are extracted from the groom confirming that he
will care and provide for his new bride and their family when they have one.
Panigrahana Hathlewa
The bride and groom's hands are tied together and the
priest puts a mehendi and a coin in the empty round spot on the bride's right
hand. He then ties his hand to the bride's.
Vivaah Homa
The final part of the traditional Hindu Wedding whereby the bride and groom (now married) walk
around the ceremonial fire seven times, each time making a different vow to
each other.
Vidaai
The wedding now complete, the bride leaves her family's
home to go to the home of her husband's. Although a happy occasion, this part
is usually accompanied by much wailing and weeping.
Throughout the wedding, gifts (often money) are being exchanged and, if you are attending a
Hindu wedding you cannot go far wrong to go with a substantial selection of
small and large denomination banknotes. Some coins to give the children are
also a good idea.
Please bear in mind that specific traditions will vary according to
region, caste and finances of the couple. We hope you now know what happens at a Hindu wedding.