How should I behave on a dinner date?
Don't let your slap-up turn into a slapped face. You're having to fork out for a meal and you don't want to end up with egg on your face. Here's something to digest before you go on your dinner date
You're going to a fancy restaurant to meet someone for a first date. You know that there are so many things that can go wrong so what can you do to give yourself the best chance of impressing your date and making them want to repeat the experience?Here are some simple rules to follow to ensure that your dinner date goes well.
- Decide beforehand that you are not going to be either a spendthrift who orders the most expensive dish or wine on the menu to show-off nor a cheapskate who asks for tap water and doesn't tip at the end.
- Although a weekend night may be more difficult to get a booking for than a weekday night, there is more chance of a better atmosphere, live music etc
- Don't pick a restaurant where you have recently taken other dates - there lies heartache and embarrassment.
- If anything is wrong with the booking, meal or ambience, make your complaint calmly and clearly and always keep your dignity. Never get into an argument with a waiter.
- Let your date order for themselves. By all means make a recommendation if you've already sampled the restaurant's menu but don't be pushy and don't screw up your face in agony if they choose an expensive dish.
- If you are not paying or going Dutch then do not be greedy and order too much or too expensive food. Taking advantage of a free meal will not endear you and it shows poor breeding.
- Expect the man to pull out the lady's chair and sit opposite her. It may be old-fashioned but it shows charm and respect. He should also stand if she needs to go to the bathroom.
- Choose food which is not difficult to eat. Ribs in spicy sauce, spaghetti Bolognese and anything with lots of liquid are going to be messy. Avoid them at all costs.
- So-called 'romantic' meals like oysters or anything with champagne will probably just look corny and seem over-the-top to your date.
- The wine should be either something you know, a modest-priced recommendation or the house plonk. Do not show off by spouting forth about good and bad vintages unless you are really sure of what you are saying (in which case you are probably going to bore the date to death).
- Never choose beer as it will make you look common and don't drink too much wine. You need your wits about you for dating and getting sloshed won't make the other person want to see you again.
- If you smoke, decide that you are going to give it up for the evening. It is a lousy idea to leave your date alone while you rush outside the restaurant for a quick puff.
- Should the restaurant turn out to be too 'sniffy' and it treats you both like you're 'hoi polloi' then perceive the dinner as a shared and funny experience. Laughing is the best tonic for nerves and it will make you feel less inadequate.
- Try not to argue about the bill. If you really must query something then either do it light-heartedly or well away from your date. If that's impossible, just pay it and make a mental note never to return.
- Decide early on who's paying. Grasp the nettle and ask but keep it light and, if you are the man and she says she expects you to pay in full just go along with it. Most modern women will want to pay at least a share of the bill so do let her if she offers.
- For goodness sake don't declare your undying love for him or her during or after the meal. If you've enjoyed the evening, say so but leave it there.
- Remember that the dinner date is not about the food, it's about getting to know one another. Use the occasion to explore common ground and find out about the other person. Don't forget to study their body language as this can speak volumes.
- No matter how badly behaved your date might be or how much you despise their company don't do a bunk and leave them to pay. Keep your dignity at all times.
- If you should get the wind during the dinner, say 'excuse me' and don't make a show of it.