How should I get ready for a date?
If the nerves are getting to you and panic is setting in, here's the antidote. Good preparation for a date won't guarantee that he or she will fall in love with you but it will put you in your best light
You've spoken to someone on the phone or over the internet and you've arranged to meet them. The date is all lined up but you're worried that you will make the impression you'd like to make. You know that this is your big chance so how can you make sure that you are ready for the date?Here is a simple process that you can follow in order to ensure you are putting your best foot forward on the date.
- Read this checklist thoroughly at least 24 hours before your date. That way, if you need to buy anything or scout out a location, you can. Leaving it all to the last minute only increases the chances of it not running to plan.
- If you aren't fully-familiar with where you are meeting, try to scout it out beforehand - this is far better than arriving too early because you had left time in case you couldn't find it. Make sure you have the address of the place in case you get lost.
- Start getting ready in time for a long shower or bath. This will help you relax and also to think about some of the things you will want to discuss.
- No matter how lousy a day you've had, put it behind you. Apart from it merely serving to spoil your chances with the date, it is not fair on the other person. Don't take your problems with you.
- Some easy-listening music always helps to settle the nerves - choose this rather than a stiff drink. Put on a CD of something you know well and sing along or play air-guitar to it to calm you down. Choose clothes that are both smart and comfortable - see What should I wear on a date? If your wardrobe permits, and you are dating regularly, why not have a few special 'dating outfits' that you keep on permanent standby?
- While you're lying in the bath or drinking a coffee, think about what you are going to say and also sort out topics that are taboo. Have in mind a few genuinely funny anecdotes that are not likely to offend and generally get yourself in the right mindset for the date. Decide that no matter how lonely you are, you are not desperate. If you come across as this then you will instantly put your date off. Remember, we all want to win 'first prize'. If the other person thinks you are the booby prize (because you show desperation) then they will run away.
- It is always sensible to tell someone where you are going, who you are meeting and that you will 'check in' with them at a pre-arranged time or when you get home. You may wish to get your friend to interrupt the date with a call that you can answer with a coded message to say you are OK (or otherwise).
- Don't let xenophobia (fear of strangers) mar your date. If you meet and stay in a public place and get a friend to check you're OK you really have little to worry about. Remember (thankfully) dangerous people make up the minority of the population and that statistically you are infinitely more in danger travelling to the date than you are from the other person.
- A small gift such as a single flower (not a red rose which is completely over-the-top) or a packet of sweets (in preference to a box of chocolates which is too big a gift) might be a nice gesture. Don't spend too much as the other person might not have bothered and all you will do is make them feel lousy about it.
- Even if you have got along like a house-on-fire and you have both worked out that you are long-lost soul-mates, please do not make a declaration of love on the date. It is far too premature and there is no way you can know enough about the other person or living with them to justify such a statement. Far better is to say (sincerely) how much you have enjoyed the date and meeting them. Keep your language simple and not too flowery.