Friends Dating
Can you be a friend before you become a lover or does it (hopefully) only work the other way around?
Dating a friend can be a fraught affair. After all, you've got a perfectly good relationship which you now want to turn on its head by introducing romance. Unfortunately the heart does not listen to reason and if your friend is rapidly becoming more than 'just a good friend' then you must do what you must do although caution is the watchword of the day.The first thing to bear in mind is that spending the evening with a friend and going on a date are worlds apart. Friendship could be defined as enjoying a happy and contented co-existence while dating introduces an edge - for example, is there more to your friendship than just a wish to share time together?
What makes the differentiation difficult is that with a genuine and lasting friendship you already have love in all its forms bar romance. How can you introduce this aspect without unsettling the rest? It's no easy matter.
A clue can be found in considering courtship - an event that is intended to lead ultimately to the unification of two separate entities with a view to procreation. One could consider that there are seven stages (see below) through which a relationship can pass before reaching at the procreative phase. True and close friendship will diverge at the fifth stage and concentrate on strengthening that aspect. Romance and courtship will progress to the seventh stage by which time (hopefully) the couple will be so united that any act by one of the pair will not be contra to the interests of the other. In other words, they will have become what today is sometimes known as an 'item'.
- Strangers
- Casual acknowledgement
- Exchange of non-personal information
- Offering of personal information
- Complete trust
- Romance
- Sex
- Parenthood