Make friends with a date
When he or she turns to you and asks to 'just be friends' don't blow the opportunity - a good friend is almost as hard to find as your soul-mate
Most people go on a date with a view to finding a life-partner or, at least, someone with whom they can enter into a reasonably longstanding relationship. Few go along for a date with the intention of 'just' making a friend. Well, there is nothing 'just' about a friend.The problem lies in the devaluation of the word 'friend'. Too often, it is used to describe an acquaintance - someone with whom we have no objection about spending time with as long as it is not too often and for not too long a time. But would you tell this 'friend' your innermost secrets and fears? Probably not.
The reason is that in a whole lifetime we are lucky to make a handful of real friends. These are the people who will stick with you through thick and thin and who will put your needs at the top of their list of priorities. If you stop and reflect for a second on that concept, you will almost certainly be hard-pressed to come up with more than five such friends.
On top of that, there is a natural wastage of friends. We make a good friend - for example at university - then we get a job, relocate, start a career, marry and have a family and suddenly we realise we have lost touch completely. I had some very good friends when I was doing my degree and now I've no idea where they are nor how to contact them - more is the pity. We shed friends when they no longer fit our schedule or way of life. We need every one we can muster sometimes and too many good friends is never a bad thing.
Dating is an ideal opportunity to make new friends. The problem is that we go into it with the wrong idea. We meet our new date with a critical eye aimed at assessing their 'mate' potential. This is wrong.
We should meet every new person with an open mind and the question, 'Will you turn out to be my friend?'. Dating can be so wasteful. We invest time and effort advertising ourselves, contacting others, responding, questing, meeting and then communicating and nearly one hundred percent of the time our efforts are completely wasted. This is ridiculous. How many of those spurned dates could have made good friends?
Far better to go into a meeting with the friendship concept in mind. That way you have a higher chance of success, are less likely to rush into an ill-matched romance and can only benefit from the outcome. In any case you should not fall in love with anyone who is not your best friend.
To say someone is your best friend is a very valuable compliment.
So, yes, you can and should make friends when you date.