How do I play hard to get with my boyfriend?
The thrill of the chase or is it chaste but never chased? In the game
of brinkmanship, which of you will win when it comes to playing hard to
get?
The game of playing hard to get is a bit like the old fashioned gambling
rule of 'double or quits'. It really can come down to an all or nothing
situation. You badly want his love but you need to make him chase after
you rather than the converse.
The problem is that men are naturally predatory. Culturally, we are
programmed to be the ones who go chasing the females of our species although
this concept is changing in a more modern society. Nevertheless, it is a
simple fact of humanity that we never appreciate what we've got until either
we've lost it or we look set to lose it. This is the principle behind
playing hard to get - make him work hard to get you and he will appreciate
the reward at the end of it.
So, are you prepared to take that gamble? There can be no guarantees and
if you do play hard to get with your boyfriend then you may lose him
altogether. Like most relationship matters, the best way is to achieve your
goal is with a light touch and don't be too heartbroken if he fails your
test. The whole point is to get it into your boyfriend's head that he is not
the centre of your universe and, if he wants to get there, he will have to
prove himself worthy.
Here are some simple ideas for how to play hard to get.
When he asks you what you are doing with a view to a date always say that
you need to check your diary (which is at home), with your family (who
aren't available at the moment) etc and that you will get back to him later.
If he leaves you an email, text, phone message etc then, irrespective of
how enticing it sounds, don't get back to him immediately and, possibly, not
until the next day.
Rather than ask him out on a date, invite him to join you and your
friends on a group affair. That way you can get his attention but not seem
too obvious. It will also give you the chance to see how he interacts with
other people.
Make sure that your personal schedule is fairly full with hobbies and
socialising. Apart from making you much more interesting, it will also serve
to keep your mind off your boyfriend - something which may make you weaken
your resolve. When he asks you where you will be, tell him. See if you can
squeeze a few minutes in to grab a coffee together and so forth.
Particularly if you are in a mixed crowd with your boyfriend present, let
him see you laugh and smile a lot. There is little as sexually enticing as a
happy, smiling face. You don't need lots of cleavage and a short skirt, you
just need a warm smile and a bubbly outgoing personality. Work on this -
it's a real men-magnet.
We hope you feel we have gone partway to answering the question of
how can I play hard to get with a man.