Online dating for disabled people
Don't let prejudice and stereotypical thinking stop you from finding love online. If you have a disability, the online dating services could be the answer for you
The Internet has opened up a whole host of new possibilities for disabled people. Before its advent, being disabled was perceived very much akin to being asexual - if you had a disability you were a eunuch. Not only that, any mention of a disabled person looking to date or (worse still) to have a sexual relationship, was considered to be quite obscene.Fortunately, the power of the masses combined with scientific advances has caused a shift in public opinion towards acceptance of the existence of normal human needs for disabled people. As a result, a myriad of specialist online dating sites have sprung up specifically to cater for finding partners for those with disabilities. At long last, the element of loneliness can be removed from the other burdens that those with disabilities must bear on a daily basis.
So, if you are disabled and single and looking to find love, how should you approach online dating? Obviously pay heed to all the tips that apply to able-bodied people dating online but also bear in mind the following which relate to those with disabilities.
- Approach online dating with an open mind. It doesn't matter how many times you've been turned down before, this time is going to be different. Positive thinking is the key to success.
- Before you dive in, read as many personal profiles as you can of other disabled people. This will give you an idea of how to 'market' yourself.
- When you write your own profile, don't dwell on your disability. Mention it and then move on to say something about you (and your character) and not your disability.
- Never, ever consider lying about your disability. It is what it is and people must accept it. In any case, you will get found out soon enough. Don't even think about clinging to the hope that someone who has fallen in love with you will forgive you for having deceived them.
- If you are asked questions about your disability by a potential date treat them in the same way as you would a question about a previous relationship or any other personal matter. If it is invasive, don't answer, if it is in context, do.
- Make maximum use of the free communications that are available (eg SKYPE, email, Chat services etc). Take your time and go slow. Really get to know the other person before you meet them.
- Don't judge harshly anyone who declines you as a potential date because of your disability. This is not the same as being discriminated against in a restaurant or at work, it is someone deciding that they have not got what it takes to be your partner. Better to know now rather than later.
- Refrain from making political statements about disabilities in your profile or in the early stages of getting to know someone. Not everyone wants to date a political animal and they may feel that you would make their life with you too public a spectacle. It will put them off.
- When you are getting serious about meeting with someone, let the other person know what the disability will mean to your relationship. How far from the 'norm' will it be? You need to make certain that they are up for it.
- Finally, when you eventually meet up, pick a place where you won't need too much help. It will put you in your best light and it will also help your date with the awkward question of do they try to assist you or not? A subsequent date, when you know each other better, can answer that one.
Of course there may be heartaches along the way but then that's the same for everyone - able-bodied and disabled. Just shrug off the disappointment and try again. That's the only way to find love. And, whatever you do, always be yourself.
We hope that this answers some of your questions about with online dating for disabled people.